one day will be the day when all our dreams come true...
Just ended pitch training. Legs are killing me, midfield's so tough, running up and down the flanks, sometimes i wonder am i good enough for the job, whether i have got enough breath in my lungs, enough determination, aggression. As i quote HuiQian's blog "It is passion that brought me this far." and Royston Tan's words echoing at the back of my mind "... you'll never be rich, but you'd be happy doing something you love, that you have a passion for".
I can't help but think of our team's future. That uncertaincy of not being able to get back what we've lost for the seniors, our school and ourself is scaring me pretty much. I can say its the 2nd invisible force that kept me going thru trainings and trainings, right behind passion, who's 1st. The expectiations you failed to meet, the dissapointment you got to face, and the horrible realisation of all that training going down to waste. All the late night pitch trainings, all the suffocating road runs, all the time spent in the D in school... all... wasted. I fear, i fear losing, really, seriously, i fear not getting the expected resulst when you put in all your effort. I fear the unknown, and dammit, dammit, i can't help but think of the worst in days like these. What if with a sickening twist of fate and we don't make it to the 2nd round? I think i'd just go mad, really.
You know, sometimes, when i get so tired and shagged an fragged during trainings, i ask myself, why am i doing this for? Why am i working my tired body after a day of school on this green pitch, manipulating a purple stick to do my commands with that round object. & then i would realise, it's because of this desire to get satisfied results at A div next year. that's why we are "mugging" hockey, yet loving it at the same time, so thus our commitment... my commitment...
I remember this lit lecturer said something about Murder in the Cathedral is a story all about Passion. And in this meaning of Passion, it means Suffering. Don't quite understand the whole idea but the way i intepretated it, it seems to me like you suffer because you're passionate. Its like my physical body suffers after training, yet my spritual soul feels refreshed, energised, because i learned something new after every training, and pitch trainings are always exceptionally beneficial. Its something like elasticity of goods and stuff like Passion is present in a larger proportion than Suffering so you are willing to continue and endure trainings after trainings...
mmm.
just some food for thought.
Btw, i finished HP&TDH!!! :D Ok the ending was a little weird... but aye, haha. Got to know quite a lot of scandalous stuff tomorrow. Cant wait till wed when puey and terra has their PE CLASS, HAHAHAHAHAHA. omg, cant wait :D
ok back to the reality and pw.
Just ended pitch training. Legs are killing me, midfield's so tough, running up and down the flanks, sometimes i wonder am i good enough for the job, whether i have got enough breath in my lungs, enough determination, aggression. As i quote HuiQian's blog "It is passion that brought me this far." and Royston Tan's words echoing at the back of my mind "... you'll never be rich, but you'd be happy doing something you love, that you have a passion for".
I can't help but think of our team's future. That uncertaincy of not being able to get back what we've lost for the seniors, our school and ourself is scaring me pretty much. I can say its the 2nd invisible force that kept me going thru trainings and trainings, right behind passion, who's 1st. The expectiations you failed to meet, the dissapointment you got to face, and the horrible realisation of all that training going down to waste. All the late night pitch trainings, all the suffocating road runs, all the time spent in the D in school... all... wasted. I fear, i fear losing, really, seriously, i fear not getting the expected resulst when you put in all your effort. I fear the unknown, and dammit, dammit, i can't help but think of the worst in days like these. What if with a sickening twist of fate and we don't make it to the 2nd round? I think i'd just go mad, really.
You know, sometimes, when i get so tired and shagged an fragged during trainings, i ask myself, why am i doing this for? Why am i working my tired body after a day of school on this green pitch, manipulating a purple stick to do my commands with that round object. & then i would realise, it's because of this desire to get satisfied results at A div next year. that's why we are "mugging" hockey, yet loving it at the same time, so thus our commitment... my commitment...
I remember this lit lecturer said something about Murder in the Cathedral is a story all about Passion. And in this meaning of Passion, it means Suffering. Don't quite understand the whole idea but the way i intepretated it, it seems to me like you suffer because you're passionate. Its like my physical body suffers after training, yet my spritual soul feels refreshed, energised, because i learned something new after every training, and pitch trainings are always exceptionally beneficial. Its something like elasticity of goods and stuff like Passion is present in a larger proportion than Suffering so you are willing to continue and endure trainings after trainings...
mmm.
just some food for thought.
Btw, i finished HP&TDH!!! :D Ok the ending was a little weird... but aye, haha. Got to know quite a lot of scandalous stuff tomorrow. Cant wait till wed when puey and terra has their PE CLASS, HAHAHAHAHAHA. omg, cant wait :D
ok back to the reality and pw.
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