逆光

i'm damn shagged now la. shaggier than scooby-doo's shaggy. zzz. trainings are really taking a huge toll on me, for the next MONTH, i'd have trainings EVERYDAY, on the positive side... " ... sundays are always free!" -weilin. zzz right... i'm finding it really really tough to cope with HOMEWORK, TRAININGS & KEEPING IN TOUCH WITH OLD FRIENDS. i'm trying my very best to manage my time already... but its really li bu cong xin sometimes...i'm sorry, but i'm really drained, ive never felt so drained ever before.

its like today even meeting with yan & mx, i felt so tired all the way, i cldnt really muster up much of my energy, i jsut walked arnd absent-mindedly cause my body was screaming : "I'M TIRED, LEMMI REST" It was because i've been training a hell lot this week & the rj match this morning... & i'm really trying to push myself hard. & i realised... OMG, i'm pretty mentally weak. its like i dint even realise that i was showing it... till jinyin pointed out to me. i know im like giving up alrdy, but she was like " BEIXI! PRESERVRE!" whatever you spell taht. okokk, anyway, i was the left back for first half then right back for second half, whalau, left and right back affects a lot one ok, since they usually attack from our right side... i played nearly the full match, except for the 1st half where i requested to sub out cause my ribcage was hurting too much from excessive gasping of breath. :/ zzzz, but the second half right, i just felt like giving up, then i requested to sub, WHALAU, i feel regret now, i should have like played till the end.

anyway, i need to work on my MID-portion muscles man, the ribs, abs, & stomach, WHALAU, they're the one's that's not having enough excercise & affecting my performance la, always cramping up. and inorder to achieve better uh muscle results, i shld do more planks :/ :\, but i dont like planks! ): but aye, beixi, if you want to make it to the team this year, & keep the no.13 shirt they loan you, you BETTER dont give anymore mentally weak performance. but i was pretty happy to hear that alicia said i played not bad for a first timer, that really sounded encouraging :D

ohyeah, i was loosing LOTS OF BALANCE today la, keep falling!!!!!!! zzz, ended up getting wet all over, but hey i dont mind falling if i get to clear the ball & not let rj score. I was pretty angry with myself for letting the rj player run into the D so often. then we have to create chaos inside the D, then i have to fall down, causing karen & weilin to panic for the ball & fall down too. RAHHH. zzz

ok enough about hockey. WALKED (thanks to michelle's ingenious idea.) from ccab to adam's road fc. OMG the food there damn nice, should go there eat one day after school or smthing, yeah, drank sugar cane, then walked to the bus stop after duke's rd to take bus down to btfdcentre to meet yan & xian who were TARDY. yum had hokkien meeeeee! :D:D:D:D:DD, haha, then we talked alot. OMG, zzz, then we cabbed to heeren cause we thought leongyiyao was in town, & we wanted to find him... zzz, bought yanzi's Against the Light & hmv & new rubber bands. :D tried to source for NICE PBOX, but aye, they dont fit my calibre. i think i wanna go grace's shop to get la, but NO TIME. ZZZZZZ damn sian. i shall attempt to scotch tape my holely peebox back, see if it can help. hold on for another month, haah. zzz

anyway, mx told me something & im not really sure how i should be uhm reacting, i guess im not really sensitive to people's feelings, haha, i'm pretty cold hearted & cold blooded (this is literal) but to me, if X thing happened, then it happened, then its supposed to be like this. Besides i was thinking X is getting quite stagnant already (omg, why am i blogging like A's TW. haha. zzz, oh & X's not a person. :) anyway, it was pretty shocking then i just oh-ed it, cause it's probably the uhm 10th or 20th time ive been hearing it from friends already, so i dont really know how to react, all i can say is " move on, get on with life, dont be like cow ". & yup mx, thats all i can say, its really hard for me to put myself in your shoes to really uhm FEEL? the pain the i suppose, its like i cannot understand why people sometimes let the heart rule the head. OK, i'm getting abit out of point here but well wht im trying to say is taht, I CANT BE FEELING LA, zzz. unless its something i feel strongly about? ohkay, whatever, but ay ya. as i've said to uh a certain someone two years (or maybe 3) ago. " da jia dou shi hao peng you. " & things are working out fine now :D i'm real glad for that.

& anyway, we're talking about prank calls today & it made me think of the ones we used to do. like calling delwin & going "hey! you won, 5 bananas, 2 watermelons & a bunch of grapes (or something, but i rmbered it was lots of fruits) !" & he was like " REALLY! YAY" haha, zzz. what good old slack times :D

one part of me cant wait for poly people to start lessons, esp NGEE ANN POLY PEOPLE! so i can meet them for LUNCH @ MY FAV FOOD CENTRE! HAHA! :D which includes uh, mx & zs, yeah all i can think of, haah and of course GArY! THE ONLY FRIEND JONATHAN HAD, haha, he's like probably the only normal guy in nj la, seriously. there'd be no one arnd to entertain us when he's gone, but also for a good cause lah, he's a tad too irritating& noisy at times. lol

anyway, i just realised that this is once again a long post. aye. whats wrong with me eh, zzzz. i have tons of homework, & i dont know where to start... maybe... geog? hmm byebye people.