Flair, Flare, Fair, Failure
I feel pretty loser now, oh no wait, i AM a loser, because for the aeon time that i'm trying and putting a lot of effort into something, my effort seeds reaps no results. Its a very blank feeling to lose when you're just so close to a win, and i cannot help but think: " What if this were Adivs? What if we were just this close, just as close or even closer to winning, to progressing to the next round? ". I felt super lost for the splitsecond moment, like as if the end of my fight was not justified with some sort of a reasonable closure that could hit home the lost right away.
Alike any typical NJC student who would be furiously flipping through their returned exam scripts, scanning over wrong questions and furrying brows and racing mind through the various notes crammed into the convulated brain just to seek out a possibily to self explain for the inability to secure marks -- i too, racked my brains for some kind of explaination to fuel my lost feeling, on why the hell had we lost that game. And, i came up with some comforting reasons which are just comforting reasons and not reasons strong enough for one to write an A grade GP essay, so if you are reading out there, don't judge my reasons because i don't care, i'm trying to do some self-consoling here you know.
1. The set up was an evil ploy to not let the 3 hockey participating team dominate the top 3 positons.
2. It is seriously an evil and elaborated ploy not to let the 3 hockey participating team dominate and own everyone eles playing and get the top 3 positions.
3. The system is quite sucky, where got people play knock out for Quaterfinals, and round-robin for Top 4 placing one?
4. We were suay
5. Felix's team was quite good also la
6. The golden goal was quite pro
7. (This is a good reason) Marissa Too GOT SMACKDOWN AND INJURED!
8. No Too = No Scoring Machine = NO GOALS = NO WIN GAME
9. Stars are not aligned in our favour today
10. IT IS SERIOUSLY AN EVIL PLOY TO KNOCK US OUT EARLY AND NOT LET PEOPLE WHO REALLY ARE GOOD AND DESERVING TO WIN AT LEAST TOP 4, WIN.
Conclusion:
So? This is life what, nothing is fair, and shit always happens. The Alchemist is just one big lie to try to instil hope into gulible people who actually got bowled over with a mere choice and connection of a few words. The whole universe sometimes will not conspire just to help you achieve what you so strongly desire for. Scratch sometimes, input NEVER EVER.
I mean look at my life, SO many a times i have really worked hard, give in my best, and recieve mediocre reciprocal. So many a times i have truely desired for non-materialistic things, tried to trade success with all i've got... and so many a time i have failed. Losing the Cheering Comp. Champ when in 02, losing the postion of CL (this episode hurt really badly)... The best thing that happened to me so far was being able to come to NJ, a place i've never thought i could go to, and yet it only brought me much more disappointments because I have so far no achievements in NJ to date. I'm an AEP reject, i'm an OGL reject, and now, afer so manymanymanyaplenty hard blows on me, i couldn't even win anything in a mere GAME that i'm taking part in. Tell me what more is to come.
I begofyou who is TORMENTING my poor life out there, i'll FORGET about all these setbacks and failures which i am truely upset with, please let me believe in The Alchemist once again, prove me wrong and give me an A for PW and give us TOP 4 for Hockey this year. All that i desire for 2008. I want to see some results in something that is proportionate to all the effort that i've put in. Because knowing you're good is not enough, i want to have something tangiable to really prove that we're good, i'm good. I want my efforts to be proportionate to the end product, i don't want it to turn out like a hydrological cycle in the watershed, where input doesnt equal output (or rather less than). Please.
On the bright side, at least the remaining 2 hockey teams that proceeded swiped top 2.
It could have been top 3, with me being part of it, being in the picture.
I cannot feel fine so soon, because stuff like this matters to me.
Quite a lot.
Alike any typical NJC student who would be furiously flipping through their returned exam scripts, scanning over wrong questions and furrying brows and racing mind through the various notes crammed into the convulated brain just to seek out a possibily to self explain for the inability to secure marks -- i too, racked my brains for some kind of explaination to fuel my lost feeling, on why the hell had we lost that game. And, i came up with some comforting reasons which are just comforting reasons and not reasons strong enough for one to write an A grade GP essay, so if you are reading out there, don't judge my reasons because i don't care, i'm trying to do some self-consoling here you know.
1. The set up was an evil ploy to not let the 3 hockey participating team dominate the top 3 positons.
2. It is seriously an evil and elaborated ploy not to let the 3 hockey participating team dominate and own everyone eles playing and get the top 3 positions.
3. The system is quite sucky, where got people play knock out for Quaterfinals, and round-robin for Top 4 placing one?
4. We were suay
5. Felix's team was quite good also la
6. The golden goal was quite pro
7. (This is a good reason) Marissa Too GOT SMACKDOWN AND INJURED!
8. No Too = No Scoring Machine = NO GOALS = NO WIN GAME
9. Stars are not aligned in our favour today
10. IT IS SERIOUSLY AN EVIL PLOY TO KNOCK US OUT EARLY AND NOT LET PEOPLE WHO REALLY ARE GOOD AND DESERVING TO WIN AT LEAST TOP 4, WIN.
Conclusion:
So? This is life what, nothing is fair, and shit always happens. The Alchemist is just one big lie to try to instil hope into gulible people who actually got bowled over with a mere choice and connection of a few words. The whole universe sometimes will not conspire just to help you achieve what you so strongly desire for. Scratch sometimes, input NEVER EVER.
I mean look at my life, SO many a times i have really worked hard, give in my best, and recieve mediocre reciprocal. So many a times i have truely desired for non-materialistic things, tried to trade success with all i've got... and so many a time i have failed. Losing the Cheering Comp. Champ when in 02, losing the postion of CL (this episode hurt really badly)... The best thing that happened to me so far was being able to come to NJ, a place i've never thought i could go to, and yet it only brought me much more disappointments because I have so far no achievements in NJ to date. I'm an AEP reject, i'm an OGL reject, and now, afer so manymanymanyaplenty hard blows on me, i couldn't even win anything in a mere GAME that i'm taking part in. Tell me what more is to come.
I begofyou who is TORMENTING my poor life out there, i'll FORGET about all these setbacks and failures which i am truely upset with, please let me believe in The Alchemist once again, prove me wrong and give me an A for PW and give us TOP 4 for Hockey this year. All that i desire for 2008. I want to see some results in something that is proportionate to all the effort that i've put in. Because knowing you're good is not enough, i want to have something tangiable to really prove that we're good, i'm good. I want my efforts to be proportionate to the end product, i don't want it to turn out like a hydrological cycle in the watershed, where input doesnt equal output (or rather less than). Please.
On the bright side, at least the remaining 2 hockey teams that proceeded swiped top 2.
It could have been top 3, with me being part of it, being in the picture.
I cannot feel fine so soon, because stuff like this matters to me.
Quite a lot.
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